Stalking you with my heart

I lie restless,

Listless…

Dreaming of what could be

Glowing in our glee

Willing our beats to communicate

So I can pass on the unspoken loneliness...

Brooding desires...

And tumultuous aches from within

I am a wreck

Feeble, if you may

These ominous feelings -

Wishing them away makes them deeper.

I want to run from my heart

Put a lot of distance between us

But my legs fail me

I am pathetic

Others would call me a hopeless romantic

Hopeless, I am

And I blame cupid

For pointing my heart in the wrong direction.

When you are with me;

I am whole.

When you say you love me;

I explode.

But then you draw away

Like I am the plague

Leaving no explanation

And a confused heart

Another shot of Tequila,

I can’t stop looking at my phone

Willing it to ring.

I am stalking you

Like a smitten psychopath.

Said I wouldn't call,

But I keep losing all control.

Oh, whoa

How could I be so wrong

While at the same time

Feel this amazingly alive,

Alight with pleasure

When I'm with you?

I am a woman of discriminating taste

Yet I open up to you

Freely, like a lily in the morning.

You know me too well,

It should be illegal

That I hand all the reigns to you -

Surprises the cynic that I am

You said our love was written in the stars  

Yet you pull the plug

Every time I set sail on a few fantasies.

Like the Japanese Yakuza,

You are relentless in torturing my need

Letting me indulge and methodically tearing me apart.

I want to burn the bridges;

Break the connection -

But I am fool

When it comes to you

(It is laughable.... really)

Could be

Because there are too many picturesque memories scattered all over my mind. My body. My soul.

I have the perfect recall

Of the way my heart clenches at your smile;

My body heats at your touch -

My soul walks on the clouds when I’m with you

And the kisses... Those kisses! Oy!

I breathe in the morning dew

As I reflect back on my nightly lustful musings

And I blush

I scowl at my frustration:

I am in love with a dream –

Show me how to fight for now.

I set fire on the already ablaze desire

And I'm consumed.

Lost in paradise of inane bliss

I riot at the thought of not having you

Wistful about the future I will not have

You will be the death of me;

One day!

The death of all things beautiful.

Loving the idea of someone

Is different from loving who they really are:

When I give up on you,

Will be the day I give up on hope,

The only emotion that keeps me alive.

I will turn cupid's arrow on him

And run for the dark

Pick up pieces of my broken soul,

Tender in my emotions,

Mend my spirit -

And fly.

But for now:

I stalk you with my heart­­­­

Guess I’d rather hurt

Than feel nothing at all

© AKateemu December 30, 2013

Hearts and thorns

The tightening in my chest,

I am suffocating.

Dams of tears threaten to burst.

I've been believing,

In something so distant –

You brought me back to life –

For a while.

Now I'm broken.

Alone...

I'm reeling.

Somehow I remain upright.

My heart lurches to a halt,

My joy unfurls –

Stretches lazily,

Bored.

I’m transported into bliss

Then left hanging

Alone...

My world stands still,

Tilts,

And spins on a new axis.

I am billowing in the wind,

Flying off to the unknown.

I’m a kaleidoscope of moods

Feelings so profound...

They tear to the core

And you give no respite...

Kiss me.

Stop me from drowning.

Will I never break these chains;

That our souls bind?

Sultry voices call out to me

Setting me ablaze with want –

Pulling me from my darkness....

My haunted dreams

Lonely,

I lie, in the dark –

Dreamless;

Silent –

For a while.

Then my nightmares

Crawl up to me;

Foreboding.

So many blinding walls between us

I don’t want to feel for you

But my happiness-paths

All lead to you.

Oh darkness,

My muse!

Drenched in pain, again

I court my loneliness

I wallow in sad love songs,

Letting their bitter-sweet nuances

Lull me to sleep.

Wake me up,

When the year is gone

I need a little modesty to bow out

But what modesty –

At a quarter past one?

When I’m a little drunk (Yes! A little)

And I need you?

This hangover will not pass,

Soon

I’m a mess.

Hearts and roses;

I want.

Hearts and thorns;

I’m dealt.

My body is on fire,

But I will not grieve –

Yet.

There is nothing real love can’t undo –

I think.

And unless we lie in silence,

The blinding walls will melt.  

© Akateemu December, 2013

Dark and unexplored

Somewhere dark and unexplored
The dark part of my brain whispers to me
Seductively...
Deep in my belly
Sparks of want;

 Your mouth is derailing,
I focus on it
Long hands, beguiling,
I lose focus
Awesomely off-the scale attractive
The atmosphere;
Suddenly Arctic
If the chills that run up my spine are anything to go by
I need to bolt!
Your pheromones are working overtime 

I catch a few glances from you
Intense and unnerving
My heart is frantic
My lungs draw in a hasty breath
I'm a quivering mass of raging hormones
My thought lurches at the idea
You like me!
But who am I kidding, my mind chimes in
I slap her down! 

Adrenaline spiked:
Leaving me wired and weak
How can one mortal man
Hold so much tantalising promise
I'm implored by the familiar need
Completely captivated
KISS ME; Dammit!
Damn to hell your willpower
How do you do it? 

You just have to look at me
And my hormones fly all over the place
Desire;
Hot… thick…. pools of it in my lower belly!
Then you hug me
And in nanoseconds,
My body is ablaze
I can feel the heat pour off of me
My insides contort with potent need
And slowly uncurl in delicious anticipation
My subconscious swoons
And passes out somewhere in the back of my head 

The dark part of my psyche surrenders
My body is alight
I am soaring
Soaring into the shadows
I am falling.
Lost.
Lost to the Gothic music in my ears
Lost to sensations I have no willpower to stop
Sad even.
My heart clenches,
Turning itself inside out
Achingly lonely;
I feel a deep poignant longing
Somewhere dark and unexplored.

 © AKateemu November, 2013  

Haunted to be wanted (Heartbeat and I)

What day is it?
Is it yesterday, yet?
I'm losing so much time, I think. 
My clock seems to have stopped.

Another cold day,
In the October moonlight 
I'm walking, again, on the edge of the dark-side 
I feel no heartbeat
Nothing;
Nothing to reassure me 
That I'm not ‘Gone and forgotten’ 

My heart skips for you
Even as our world spins out of control
I look at us, 
Breathing all in, with nostalgia:
Everything comes alive
And I break into tears
Silent unshed tears: 
I'm so broken
Stranded at the altar of our dreams
With a gleam of love in my eyes
Lost.

Lost and insecure,
You found me on the road to cynicism 
Under your spell; 
I fell so hard
Together, we chained our hearts
In a bizarre union -
Relentlessly wanting each other
Imperfect people;
We were refined by love 

You and me;
Bad for each other from the start
No one can understand; 
No one ever understood
But that never stopped us
We flirted with risk…  
…dared fate
Did the unthinkable...
Reached for bliss
Unhinged -
We tumbled endlessly 
Living on the edge of naughty
Living for the day.
Together, we were insatiable,
Laughed so hard at the world
Because we could.


Gazing at the skies;
Serene and beautiful,
I remember all those days we spent
The memory of our love, never lost 
It was enough
Bet it all down with my life.
Even as I hang in balance;
You loom in my heart -
The only glow in the embers

The glory of the sun comes to a standstill
As the sun sets in the horizon 
Reminding me of the times by the lake  
I miss your heartbeat
On my breast; 
Sometimes, 
I feel so disconnected
Somehow,
I want to come play with the thunder
No fun in sitting back and waiting for a wonder

Under cloud cover, 
Wrapped in the deep cloak of night
I listen to sad love songs
Longing, craving, crying… 
(Sometimes in that particular order)
I can’t believe how much my pulse seems to roar
My arms ache;
To embrace and comfort you where you lie
I reach out;
To your heart and hold your love…

Take my hand; 
I wanna contact cupid 
Ask him to land us back on our feet
Where our hearts can beat in unison
Where we can tumble into clouds of passion; 
Break into day in suffocating embrace
I might die -
When I stop to breathe
Alone, and lost
All I feel is the cruel wanting 
Haunted to be wanted by you

AK © October 21, 2013

Hell of a day

You know that time when you wanna scream,  beat yourself up for being so stupid?  Today is that day.

And  I can't even rant here! Grrrrr

ANGIE RANTS: Just us, two!

Just us, two!

I'm ravenous

And there is nothing more passion inducing

Than the combo of your wicked grin and the sun in your eyes

Makes me feel like no one wants me more

I can think of about ten thousand wonderful things to say about you

But I run out of metaphors

Our chemistry is off the chain,

Always on a roller-coaster of sensations;

Emotions strung…

We are bad for each other

Yet, so good together

Mother Nature is benevolent

It gave me you 

I'm enamoured by your boyish charm,

Crazy about your heart…

I almost break into tears

Something amazing always happens when we are together

Overwhelmed, I gaze

Delightfully glowing in your halo

I get a nice thrill

A little warm chill up my spine every time I think of you (which is often)

Pleasantly surprised and tingly…

My thoughts need a restraining order,

And buying a pit bull trained to track and attack.

Nothing like you and I,

I long for your kiss, when we kiss

Crave your touch more, when you touch me

You are blessed with the might of the gods

I shiver just hearing your name,

And swim in the feel-good pheromones that float off you

And when you look at me

With the primal want in those big baby eyes

All I think of is loving you,

To tiny little trembling bits  

So take me,

To the lakeside,

Just us, two!

And by moonlight,

Make love to me through the night

Raw with desire,

Smoothly navigating from tender to passionate…

Make a steady bypass to mad

I want to quiver, like a leaf

Show me what it is like;

To be loved by a kind heart,

Wanted by a tender savage,

Make me shiver under your feather touch

Let the earth quake

And as we break into dawn

Make me feel alive,

Like only you can!

© AK August, 2013

Wake me, with a kiss!

I met him;

On a closed street of broken hearts

Unexpectedly…

Unabashedly;

I caught his eye,

And he winked

Something about his wicked grin

Appealed to all of me

I smacked my lips,

Wiped the drool!

I fixed my gaze on his face,

Intrigued

He wooed me with his tender eyes

He was charming

And disarming…

Felt my heart, in my throat,

Pounding…

My temperatures r-i-s-i-n-g

I denied myself long

Now I want to break into a song

I’m in over my head

The feeling is overwhelming

A wreck of nerves,

I’m ready to submit,

To commit,

Because I know we fit

It is not easy,

Handing over the reigns

But I’m no superwoman

So, embrace me,

Choose me,

Want me,

Need me,

Take me,

Love me,

Until there is no more air in my lungs!

Between us, is no distance

In my heart, you always are

When I’m with you,

You make me rhyme

Everything is a blur

I stir …

And purr …

And slur …

I want it all

The Gasping and spooning

The toe-curling and the screaming…

I want it all!

Let us bask in our mutual beauty

We deserve something intense

Let’s reach for the climax

My thoughts; innocent naught!

When I’m hot … and taut

I can’t be denied

I want to get atop

Ride the tide!

Astride;

I only glide

And when I sleep,

Don’t wake me up …

Except with a kiss!

Make my heart a better place

© AK June, 2013