Heartbeat

Thump! Thump! Thump!

There goes my heart…

Leading you down into my core,
Where I thought I had gone numb.

Now I’m ready to succumb!

I’m unstoppable like a raging tramp!

I’m taut and hot…

I can't seem to hold on to me,

Wonder what's wrong with me!

Oh, I know! I’m in love!

 

Your presence lights all my unpleasant dreams

Even when away; your face lingers in my mind

Driving me insane

When you enter the room,

I can feel a glowing sensation…

I’m in a daze

Bedazzled by your slow charm

Amazed by the kindness in your eyes

Yet ignited by your touch!

You bid my blood to boil

Blurring and stirring my greed

Goosebumps spread all over me, intimately

And I blush at the thought of the things I need

 

My heart beats for you

You change its cadence

Every time we touch!

Oy!

I sound corny,

I know,

But what’s the language of horny

When all I want is to ravish you

I can’t think straight,

At least not with my brain,

With you, I’m on a plane

Flying away to bliss where all my fears are slain

 

There's a passion starting in the pit of my stomach

Reaching a fever pitch,

I’m starting to twitch.

I’m on a roller coaster,

Taking me down south,

From River Limpopo to Tswana

I’m speaking in tongues,

Ke a Go Rata (I Love You!)

Together in silence,

In the perfect backdrop of synchronized breathing

I hear our hearts sing in unison

I’d be crazy to ignore the rush

The heady sensation that covers me with a rash

Trying to satisfy the cravings before they consume me

I’m so gone

And I don’t want to be paroled

You release my heat,

In our retreat

When I’m not with you, I tweet

You are my Heartbeat!

© AK 2013

Cry No More

From the ashes of darkness:

From the remnants of hope torn apart
I will rise!
I'll tower over my heart
Direct my need

To a newly discovered freedom,

To the fresh start.
And forever -
Take control of my sail

And I don't care

What's on the weather chart!

I'm Maya Angelou's caged bird
That used to sing with a fearful trill...
From my weak power of will
I find the strength
To reach

For the highest pitch

Flushing my sorrows
To the drainage ditch

My tune will

Be heard
On a distant hill
Even pained,
It will echo
Like a triumphant trumpet call!

I will not fall back

Into this life's cage

I will not fall!

I will flap my clipped wings
And sing of elation - so boundless!
Hope - unmatched
Of desire
Like no other
Happiness
Of my healed soul.

It will bloom, will be endless
And scars… hurt
Will be but a distant memory

Buried in the distant cemetery

I long for the time
When I'll be free -
Free of the need
That incarcerates me
In a dungeon plagued with desire!

I will put this need on fire!

From the pit of my dark heart
I see the rising sun
It is so faint...
The day will soon age
And the rays will thaw the gloom!

And my heart will go, “Boom, boom, boom!”

I already smell it:
Freedom!
I can taste elation
The flavour of self-will –
It is Heady! I freeze,

Feeling thunderstorm's formation

I will rise
From the hurts and aches -
Love unrequited;
Silent, swallowed tears
From overwhelming loneliness

Are acquitted,

Banned, outwitted

And defeated

I will unleash the sassy
And ride high
On the tide of a new moon -
Welling and swelling…

No more dwelling

Into the “why”

Recklessness
Like the expansive ocean
Leaving behind the terrors

Love is not and never was

Of this “why” question wickedness

Love and joy are just... “because”

Happiness and smiles
Will haunt my nights

And not the sighs and tears

I will become regal...

In the body of a colibri,

And with the heart of an eagle!
Finally,
I will break into day
Welcomed by the glowing
Beams of the sun

I will reach...
And I will cry no more!

(Inspired by Maya Angelou’s ‘I know Why The
Caged Bird Sings)

Starved For A Little Tenderness

In this empty room

Silence resonates back and forth

Giving a gray night

In the Graveyard competition

A werewolf, female edition,

Waking up in me

So sinister, it is eerie;

The germ of fear...

So familiar!

Another cold night behind closed doors

Is like a gloomy day from hell

When suppressed, almost dead,

Desire soars,

Complete with angry thunderstorm

Oh, well...

Atop the dark tide...
I ride in a self loathe

I embrace it,

The numbness! The Darkness!

A malignant ache;

Eats away at the core of my need

I can't take it anymore, I can't take...

Tearing painfully at my craving soul

Reaching out; there is an emptiness, and a howl...

So I huddle together with the pillows

Wrist watches

Sound like the obsequious gong

Turning and tossing

Only it's not the lack of sleep as much,

As it is yearning to belong!

I look longingly at intimacy

As it eludes me

Recklessly letting off passion like a newly deflowered teenager

I find no relief, or assuager

Love always leaves;

Leaving me holding onto

Our tomorrow!

Who wants to take away

My itchy sorrow?

A gnawing sense of loneliness

Reaches out its sticky tentacles into my space

Snuggling in my would-have-been haven...

The voice of a night raven...

It sucks out all the air

I'm gasping for a lifeline

In asthmatic despair

A single dry rose to remember…

I'm all alone.

I draw so little comfort

From hope

When my heart

Keeps falling apart

into little breathing pieces

This is...

I feel like I'm working against Cupid!

This boy with the wings is cruel

And stupid!

This vulnerability is exhausting

I'm losing grip on my hormones

Funny, how;

Their overtones

Suggest some sinful thought...

A stranger with a smile lights my world

Only he is not smiling at me!

Come to me, stranger, let it be!

Like déjà vu

From a distant memory

I remember vaguely floating on pheromones…

Visualizing, through tears, sexy wickedness

Urgh!

Somebody, take my heat away!

I’m starved for a little tenderness.

© AK May 2013 

Your smile -

It messes me up.

It comforts like a breeze

After all this time,

It still is

As bright as a sunny day!

Like a ghost

Of love lost

It taunts my need!

Stopping my heart,

Awakening the embers...

Warming up my year of

Twelve Decembers...

I saw it!

On our first date;

Basked in it!

Bathed in it!

Blanketed in it

My heart fluttered,

My stomach knotted,

Like a teen with a major crash

And you kept smiling...

I kept drinking

This sweet poisonous “smash”

Making me tipsy

Making me blush

(Yeah, ebony women do blush!)

Your smile....

Drawing me into your charming heart!

Impregnating me with the idea

Of our smiling child

I wanted to reside

In the warmth of that heart;

To always call it home:

Somewhere I knew
Love was born

And always would be.

I still do!

Against my better judgment -

Sucked in Melancholy

Up to the chin,

I hallucinate about:

'What-could-have-been'

I said it all; as I felt it

Bore my soul because it felt right!

Oh, and the night...

I regaled you of my uncanny musings in those intimate dreams;

I let you savor the spice from my either lips,

I intertwined you in the sweetness of my hips

Spoke of the feelings

Which you could read

Just by looking into my eyes

Which were nothing, but Love beams

I caught every nuance of my inner happiness

In countless explicit poems -

Mixed with good ole' “sappy-ness”

If I could sing,

I would have put it in a song!

I told you my fears -

Except the fear I held dear:

That of losing you!

The fear

I didn't want to breathe life into

By voicing it!

  

I was a willing captive:

Gave you my heart;

Because there was no greater gift!

I flew, I sublimed,

I didn't care if it was out of line

I had your smile for breakfast

And lunch, and dinner...

I hoped to God my wantonness

Didn't scare you away!

But it did.

You gave up!

Abandoned our little wonderland -

And left me trapped in the dark!

I lost my way in the maze -

Trying to get to you!

Burnt by the blaze

Inside me

But it didn't show me ways...

Even with time gone by

I can't pretend I don't care, don't cry;

When I realize you don't think of me!

The frustration of not finding you

Is killing me!

 You look at me;

You see 'lonely'

Because I see it when you brood!

I feel claustrophobic:
My thoughts, my longing for you

Dance mad aerobics

Like someone pulled me out of the luxurious Limo

And threw me into the cramped space

Of an abandoned casino

There is nothing noble enough -

To justify plaguing my heart thus!

You don't care!

The answer was always right under my nose!

Go figure! Yet I dared...

You say, you just “wanna be friends” -

(We never were friends!)

Yet you keep taunting me

With that smile...

I see it even in a coffee cup...

... It still messes me up!

© AK Nov. 2012

*My muse

You live to mess with me
And that you like it -
Makes me want you more!
You are cute-
When you taunt me!
I need a shrink!

© AK Nov 2012

Tres Erotica

A spasm of unbridled lust

Courses down my spine

And I know I want you, hard!

Like a woman possessed;

I got plenty of shame

But no self -will!

I want us to be one

I want to feel

This pulsating thrill

Inside me

My toes curl,

And I break into a sweat

So profuse, I'm embarrassed

And joyfully wet...

Breathing heavily...

My heart pounds in my throat

Making my mouth dry like desert soil

While my other lips get wet,

Exuding bewitching oil

I fight so hard

Against the urge to run my tongue

Across my voracious lips

The thought of pushing your head between

My-waiting-for-euphoria-hips

Is so intense!

Oh the effort!

I'm surprised

I'm not a heap of nerves on my feet!

I watch your sinewy muscles ripple...

And so does my body,

From the tips of my toes

To the nipples..

Before the night is out:

And before the sky turns into the light blue

I wanna do so many bad things...

With you!

 © AK 2013

Valentine wish!

Last year, on this day,
I gave him my most precious possession:
My heart!
Because he merited it!

A new year is here...
I would do it again-
Give him that same heart
But he still has it - Supposedly!

Either he doesn't want it-
Or it got lost in the mail
Or he still hasn't peeked inside it:
My most pure possession!

I keep hoping he'd receive it:
My heart!
It's tired of hanging in balance
The endless torture...

He got his reasons
And I don't understand them!
But whatever my aches
Or however lonely I get..

He is in my heart
I wish he could look at me
With the stars in his eyes
The same way I gaze at him!

(C) AK 7th Feb 2013

Light-headed With Want!

The smile comes easy
The spontaneous laugh;
So genuine it lingers
Embracing me in it's warmth

I'm addicted
To this feel-good freshness
Floating endlessly in the splendour
Of your effortless charm!

Life bubbles out of you
Without a catch!
You are the epitome
Of all things heady!

I'm lightheaded with want!!
But then again:
How can I lounge in your lavish heart:
And not be moved by you?!

You calm my storms
And give me wings:
Riding high on subtle nuances of joy
I'm floating on your pheromones

In a way,
My heart is waking up!
Being with you gets me worked up
I can feel myself being swept away...

After a long time
Of endless ache
I'm like a bud
Waiting to sprout into light

When I finally arrive,
I want it to be with you:
Gazing at you
With stars in my eyes!

(C) AK 4th Feb 2013

I'll soon wake up...

Hook line and sinker...
Here goes my little fairytale:
Loving you from a distance -
I'm a woman possessed!
THE END!

The longer version:
I end things between us,
In my head;
With a hope of giving my laden soul respite
Creating climatic (or anti-climatic) scenarios that would win Oscars!
But you keep dangling the carrot-
Something you know I want the most: You!
I only have to see you
And a tempest of emotions breaks forth:
I fall anew!

You never know ‘lonely’
Until your heart's imprisoned!
I should know!
You threw away keys to my freedom
I am incarcerated by my need


I need my best friend
Who believed I could scale heights;
My partner-
Who always said:
We are in this together!
I want my elated heart
That felt weightless in your heart:
My antidote -
For all those uncanny cravings!
I need a lifeline

Because...


I'm love with a dream!
Lost in glorious musings of a happiness so boundless...
But Gloom hovers like an angel of death
The reality:
I'll soon wake up!

© AK Nov 2012

Behind the toothy smile...

Lies a loneliness
So intense:
I can hear it breathe
Painfully...

Why did you have
To love a one like me -
Only to leave such pain
That seared the heart until it is dark?

 When you look at me
I got no rational thought!
It is terrifying-
The power you have over me!

You keep coming onto me
At the same time choosing we are wrong
Loading the broken pieces of my soul
Only to let them slip

I'm shattered
I look like a tsunami wreckage!
The damage I hold within
Is causing quite the stink!

How can I feel this emptiness,
When I epitomize fullness of life?
Look closely; you just might see it -
The sadness that subtly lurks behind the smile

This Love:
It's more killing than hate
Hate is plain simple en clean...
But Cupid: he creates quite the mess!

 © AK November
 

*In the Silence of the night...

You creep up to me

Caressing me like the midnight moon

Taunting my loins...

Until I feel a malignant lymph node

Taking your effortless charm

You chop at my resilience

Exposing a smoldering yearning

That has me in a blood thirsty grip

My brain is short of air

I'm chocking on the frustration...

Oh sweet torture!

*Gasp*

A swift moan escapes

Before I can stop it!

I'm writhing and spasming

In embarrassing ecstasy!   

You find your way

Into thoughts I don’t let anyone in

You occupy my mind

In a really familiar way …

Your burning touch traces my need

Awakening me from the dream

Oy!

I’m desperate to connect!

© AK November 2012