This is me, letting go!

I saw you yesterday,
And all those things

I fell in love with
Came rushing at me -
With a force so hard,

The air in my lungs

Didn't stand a chance!

My stomach was hit

With an invisible dart,
Making me weak,
My chest palpitated;
My heart broke into a song
Of desire,
Of raw unfulfilled want...

Stop! This unbearable heat...

My heart plays Moonlight Sonata

In rush dirty rapper's beat


Your smile played before my eyes
The same warm smile

That had my stomach in a knot

On our first date!
It tortured my need

Made me want

The child from your seed…
When you looked gently at me

Behind your thin-rimmed glasses;

Reminding of nightly prayers

And yoga classes...

The anger,
Seemed to dissipate
I broke into a sweat
Breaking eye contact

Before I could jump

Your bones
The familiar mischief in your laugh;

Your voice with sweet overtones
It was like homecoming!

My voice went yodeling
I pretended not to feel

The things you made me feel
I wanted so bad to break my vow
And ravish you without a shame!

And then, perhaps later,

Dive into self-blame...

While my guards were silently

Falling down,

Causing old dust of hope to fly like Sahara simoom
I raised again my eyes up at you:
My heart almost stopped!
My nearness tortured you,
Just as much as you did me!
I watched you avoid eye-contact

I see...
Afraid it would mirror my lust?
Trying so hard

Not to relive the familiarity

That we'll forever share!
And as I watched you look away,

I swear
I could sense I was alive

In your mind, in your heart...

And as I stared
Your groin took on  a life of its own

Ahha!!! I see your self-control

Is blown away with my moves...

I am still your Muse!

The familiar tang of your body scent wafted to me,

Awakening all the senses...

Queuing them up until they were guitar-string taut!

A bead of sweat formed on my brow 

With every rise of my chest!

I felt Claustrophobia slowly creeping up on me-

My breathing came out in laboured shafts!

My heart, hammered against the rib cage,

Threatening to burst forth!

I felt your every shift,
Responded to your every nervous twinge

It hit me back, my silly “revenge”:
I shifted endlessly,
Because against my willpower;
A hot flush I hopelessly fought

Was spreading all over me,

Like in menopause,
Awakening in me a raw want;
Only you could bring into life!
It rose like a tumor, so malignant yet subtle
My body twitched, raked by sweet spasms…

Those silent spasms, that strive

But unable to hold

Imminent, loud orgasms...

I looked over at you
Hoping you

Wouldn't see my discomfort
You didn't miss the goosebumps
They kissed my skin
With an obsession of an amorous lover…
It made you antsy!
The tension of our closeness was so thick,
I could cut through it!
I held ground
I couldn't trust my legs,
To bolt me out of the room!
Not sure what to do with these feelings
That were continuously pouring off of me,

Zooming past my thighs…

My throat, dry,
My mouth aching to be devoured

Damn!

 I did wet my lips with my tongue!

My wound has been scoured...

I looked on you –
Trying hard not to stare as you casually paced the room,
Convincingly looking like you were calm!
Inquiring about nothing I'd said!
With my short skirt riding high
You couldn't concentrate

I understood!
Against myself: I understood!
Forgave you
For giving up on us-
The wreckage you inflicted

On my heart!
It was the same deal of heartache
You carried, stoically
Watching you as you looked upon me;
Almost crushing under the resolve to keep buried
The overwhelming love you have for me.
In accepting the reality of the walls between us;
I need a new fantasy...
NOT with you!
I'm chucking my deuces:

I'm letting YOU go

© AK 2013 

Lonely is A Beat-CH!

I stare at blank hope

Reminiscing about times gone...

When every minute was dope

My soul's restless

Hoping to wake up-

Only it has been sleepless!

Cold nights are calling

Reaching out with their chilling touch

I recoil and keep falling

Rescue me I beg

For I fear the dark

Bottled I am, in a keg

Away from the light

I suffocate

Praying for a life that is lite

Exit my mind knave

For my body aches

Buoying up only to cave

Oh Cupid

Your arrow missed my heart

‘En now I feel stupid

For I thought I had arrived

Only to realize

I'd been deceived

Alone I lie in silence

Thinking idle thoughts

That leave me in a trance!

Lonely is a bitch

Dancing to a silent beat

Like a lone wave at the beach!

© September 2012

I'M SO-RAW!

I don't know who you are;

You waltz in with the cocky Jagger

Thrusting your charm my way

Panting with a thirst so intense;

You got me all wiled up!

The grin you direct my way,

Says you have me exactly where you want me: 

Under your spell!

My innards are swooning all over you

Bless the heavens you can't see

What you do to me!

I've no expectations of you-

I'm no idiot!

But when you came into the room

The air went out!

I'm aware of your masculinity

It is driving me insane!

My lower stomach is taut...

Before the night is through;

I wanna do bad things with you!

This hunger within

Has been on a slumber, long!

I want to make mad love to you;

With unbridled finality...

Going beyond the cliché 'toe-curling',

Into the unimaginable satiety

I blush at this raw want

The animal growl from the inside:

I hear its rumbling ripple up my spine

Into my hardened nipples

Oh the embarrassment- I could die of shame!

Thank you for making me look like a fool -

But then again,

You got virile testosterone!

And with all this estrogen in play,

I don't need any help looking like a fool!

I'm nerves!

© AK August 2012

The Dark of the Heart!

I wanna take everything…
From the inside
But I shudder at the thought-
I might spew out grave evil!

Many broken pieces
That have been on the mend…
Brewing a coolness
That borders on Ice-block cold!

I plaster the smile on my face
And I'm amazed at this tact
Because I could cut through
The turmoil within!

The dark of the heart:
Pitch black ...
I can't even see emptiness in the abyss
Staring chillingly back at me!

© AK 2012

DAMN Estrogen!

Midnight lover

I know you are about to go...

‘Stay a lil’ longer... Will ya?’

Crap! I'm being needy!

Feelings:

How you smother the sizzle outta stray fun!

Bring on the tequilas gals

She fell again for a cute face

With a complicated relationship!

Don't wrench your nose at me

You prudes!

I'm only human!

In my world of spoken-for-men

How I hate the stares!

I didn't create the effin’ estrogen!

So don't stand there

In your sweet splendour

And call me names!

It gets so cold, this bed

I could cuddle a eunuch...

... anticipating screaming orgasms!

Before you roast me with Jezebel...

... Uhm!

I gotta moan first

And When ma toes curl,

En my back archs … Aarrggh

…er … in ecstasy…

What was I saying?

Aarggh… er…

I'm only human!!

© AK 2012

Love Gone A-whoring!

I got plenty of shame -

I just have no will power!

So I'll cut to the chase,

Orgasm god!

Cupid won't strike

And my body is nerves

Wanting for raw pleasure

Grrrr!

My need rages…

Ticking like a nuclear bomb

I want to explode;

 Bliss is a-calling!

Love don't love me

Been down that road: gone callous!

So I'm taking the heart out of it!

Let's speak a new language:

I don't need a shrink

To figure out that the deep seated crave

Raring to escape the abyss,

Is an emotional tempest!

So I'm heading out

Where I'll be breakfast!!

Oh wait a minute

I'm a wreck: make it four course meal!

Come hither you animal

Let's grind and growl!

As we gyrate to ecstasy:

I don't wanna know your name!

The throes of our passion

Will ring loud

Reaching the core

Until my toes curl…

An when we tumble into fuzziness

Let’s do it with endless abandon!

When we land back on our feet;

It will be 'Adios Amigo'!

© AK August 2012

Stuck in Reverse!

I could kiss the stars

For shining so bright!

Was my mantra…

Once upon a time!

Emptiness now sits heavy in my heart.

In this quarantine of misery,

The resonating silence

Makes me want to scream!

You restored me from cynicism

With a smile:

Now I'm hanging between uncertainty...

... en a broken heart

'No measure of time is long enough

To let our hearts tango:

Let's start with forever,'

You used to say!

I made memories with you every day,

In that; our fairytale

Now taking them off the mantle....

E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y!

I have a damn good reason

To worship the Tequila gods:

The thrill of its harsh taste

Cleanses the tears. Respite!

When I look on the inside

I throw words at each other

Hoping they would make sense of my turmoil

But I'm just numb!

My feelings are in plain sight,

You just have to know where to look!

I’m stuck in reverse

Craving for a new verse!

© AK 2012

Line Of Fire

We rekindle our old flame
Like we never lost touch...
En now we can't stop touching...
Damn me for weakness!!

I let you take control
Coz I don't know how to stop!
You tower over my heart
Like the Berlin wall

You shadow my soul
When it tries explore
Can't see past you
Damn my willpower!!

You look at me...
The Walls of self-will
Come crumbling on my feet
Into a heap of softness

Why then...
Do I always feel alone?
Even though I'm with you
I'm lonely...

I've felt this emptiness before
You'd think I'd Have learnt by now...
But all the times I've been broken
I keep coming back...

My resolve is distracted
Ma believing heart
In the line of fire
En I keep getting burned!

(C) 2012

Dark Awakening

When I met you
It was like coming up for fresh air
I was drowning, you saved me
The emptiness I now feel
Gnaws at the soul!

I fell so hard,
I hit rock bottom
Now floating endlessly in abyss
Hoping to come up for air
My heart's barely ticking!

I feel like a human traffic accident
Everyone is slowing down
To view the wreckage!
I sound like a rock goth lyricist:
Cutting edge!

Except I'm the one bleeding!
Sad 'n blue: bitter 'n Cynical...
Need I add Pathetic?
There is no happy memory
They all end in despair!

Around me is silent like a crypt
Darkness is closing in
I'm choking on it's musty tang
Can barely breathe
I'm incarcarated by my own heart!


(C) 2012

I can't win!

Even though my shampoo

Is coconut scented;

You smell her lavender

Every time you sniff my hair!

The memories we make;

Are pulled off the mantel...

They remind you of the pain

She put you through!

It's exhausting

Watching you protecting yourself

From somebody else...

....thinking I'm hurting you

Just because she did;

You think I will!

And it kills me knowing

In your eyes, I'm her!

I'm doing time for love:

Always guilty

Before the sin!

I can't win!

I'd do anything, to prove

I love you,

Except prove

I'm not her!

(C) AK 2012

wakateemu@gmail.com

ARGH!

Oh Love...

This heart clangs back and fourth;

An empty stacatto!

Blindly I reach out

For my treacherous heart lusts

What had ye turned

Into a slayer of all things orgasmic?

My mind wavers...

My body craves...

My soul remembers the hurt

ARGH!

Ye who holds ma need

Release me, I beg

For I hunger to wake up from the heartache of promises long dead!

(C) 2012

wakateemu@gmail.com

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