In my darkness, I knew me
Before you brought me dawn:
Now my heart skips, my innards tumble, my chest constricts,
my body flushes with Goosebumps...
I linger in the doorway
Like a depraved beggar to food;
Reaching for the life that you give off.
Longing for you to save me from slinking back…
… Back into the scary echelons of my dark soul where I’m
terribly alone.
I’m a wreck of nostalgia…
Dreaming of memories…
Like that long day when we first met
Your eyes twinkled with merriment making me swoon into a
heap of teenage giggles.
Your smile – when you taunt me; rendering me numb.
Your hands on me…
Oh the hands… and the veins and the muscles …
Damn! I can't escape the thought of wicked things I long
for; with you.
Don’t hate me;
For waking without you
This here bed; it is too cold!
Insomnia brought on by miles of your absence;
So I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my fantasies fly over me…
As the events of the past haunt me…
Slamming into me with the force of an eighteen-wheeler.
Before I come undone;
I want your amorous throbbing touch
To bid my blood to rush,
From my head into uncanny sweet intimate places
I want to feel numb… and hot… and sweaty… spent… until my
limbs are weak and all over the place
And when I come to, I will still see your star from miles
so far …
Embracing my soul
So that; even in different timelines…
… My heart will still find refuge
I want to wake up to the croon of your heartbeat on my
breast
Your breath whispering a slow sensual rhythmic melody –
Subtle nuances of contentment…
Not the rampant chaos of my waking up…
… Disgruntled alarm clock screaming…
… Vivid nightmares ringing loud from the silent nights
Because when my parts and pieces swim lonely;
In sweet drawn-out depravity brought on by your absence…
… All my fears turn to rage.
My heart can't hold the fear that I’d be lost without you!
Keep breaking the silence…
So that I’m not afraid to open my eyes,
Only to find I was just hypnotized…
… and the joy is no more.
And when dawn arrives;
I will have something to look forward to -
Like a brighter day.
© AKateemu, October 15, 2014
