Heart of innocence

You came along,

I wrote you a poem,

Because I loved you so.

But your love is a blow that kept reigning down.

Until I had nothing left

For you, I bled myself dry

Now all I feel is a painful deprivation

My heart speaks a language I don't understand anymore

Hope, the fickle mistress!

I don't trust myself with you

What happened to not taking prisoners of love… plus all that?

Has it all gone to waste?

The promises we made?

Don't get me wrong,

I think you can do much better than me... 

To start a new day

Now I lie here, scared of tomorrow

The vicious streets filled with emptiness 

My love is on the line

Yet I can't help musing to myself...

What if we wing it

And not let it all go away?

But then again,

I think I'm in love with my sorrow

Trapped in the heart of user

Alone. 

I feel like little pieces dying inside when you keep silent

I'm six feet on the edge of darkness

Tired of a soul filled with echoes… shadows…

If there is one memory I don't wanna lose

That one time you found me in the corner of my darkness

Curled in a ball and letting out gut-wrenching sobs

You kissed me and said I tasted of innocence

Then you showed me how to fight for now

Didn't know 'fighting for now' would come to fighting your crippling spell

Looking on the inside,

There is a gaping hole

When I tried to insulate against you, I got burnt

I hunger to wake up,

Wake up from the heartache of promises long dead

With anyone…

You made me paranoid

I am scared of my own shadow

Yet you still hold onto an important part of me – me!

But, I miss the way the sun broke in your smile

And strays…

Where did my heart go?

Please call now...

I need you…

No I don’t …

Oh, my mind!

I want to go back to being invincible

Now as I let irrational tears fall unbridled

I mourn the loss of something I didn’t have, to begin with

Why didn’t you tell me there was danger?

Why didn’t you warn me?

Your kind eyes, (The irony is not lost on me),

They still haunt my dreams

And it will take an eternity to expunge -

The feel of your arms around me;

Your wonderful fragrance off my brain;

The imprint of your face in my mind;

Your goofy teasing smile…

That lifts my heart of innocence

© AKateemu May, 5, 2014